6 Steps to Work Through Self-Doubt & Limiting Beliefs

Self-doubt may be a part of your journey, but in no way does it have to be a period in your story. We all experience self-doubt, moments when our inner critic says some really harsh things, moments when we feel incompetent or undeserving, or moments when we just feel stuck in a negative story-line on repeat in our minds. 

Our own thoughts and beliefs about ourselves can hold us back from the things we truly desire. If you have goals, but find yourself stuck in the cycle of overthinking, procrastination, and fear you’re not alone. The desires and beliefs in your heart might not be in line with the thoughts on replay in your mind. This is where “imposter syndrome” also sneaks in. You have the gifts, tools, and experience to succeed in what you’re doing, but there’s an inner voice whispering to you that you’re a fraud or you’re not good enough.

That inner voice or gremlin message (we’ll get to that later in the post) may want to protect you. It often feeds off of the thoughts in your head and not the desires of your heart.

I think we all experience this tug of war in many seasons of our lives. The key is to recognize that it’s happening and take action to shift it. When you raise your self-awareness, you can recognize when this tug of war is taking place and take the necessary steps to work through it. Those thoughts are not the end all be all; they do not have the final ownership of your life and career...you do.

In the past before coaching and therapy when I felt overwhelmed by self-doubt or limiting beliefs I didn’t have the tools to work through it. I tended to suppress my emotions, isolate myself, and bottle in my thoughts until the point when I couldn’t hold them in any longer and I would spiral into an emotional breakdown. I believe a healthy purge of emotions is needed (I’m all for a good therapeutic cry), but I want to give you some tools to release them before you get to that point on your bathroom floor. 

I created the AFFIRM framework to help you heighten your awareness of what you’re thinking and feeling and give you some action steps to work through it.

Let’s get into it-

A- Acknowledge your feelings and where you are at the moment. 

Feelings and emotions are simply indicators and signals of what’s happening in the body or around you, so use them as information. Our entire spectrum of emotions deserve to be acknowledged without judgment and shame because ignoring those very signals doesn’t mean the reason it was sparked in the first place doesn’t exist in the body or in your environment. The last thing we want to do is quickly bypass, suppress, or undermine our feelings as not being valuable because they serve a purpose. If you are someone who has suppressed your feelings for a long time; it may be hard to pinpoint what you are even feeling at the moment. 

Ask yourself- what am I feeling? How do I feel? If it helps, write them down in your journal.

F- Focus on what you can control.

Ask yourself this- what is within my control? It’s a simple but powerful question. Truthfully, there is so much that we cannot control. For one, we cannot control other peoples’ emotions, reactions, and behaviors. We can only control our own. 

Whenever I am feeling overwhelmed I think to myself- What can I control here?

F- Find the core thought or gremlin message driving your feelings and actions.

Our thoughts impact our emotions which impact our behaviors and actions. What’s the narrative on repeat in your head? It may be super clear or it may be subconsciously running the show. When you recognize and name your “I’m not good enough gremlin”, you are more aware of when it shows up and can partner with it to serve and not diminish you. You can question where it is coming from. Most of these thoughts develop from somewhere. They are often but not always from childhood experiences, society, or our environment. When you acknowledge and name it, you give it less power and control over your life.

What are you telling yourself? How is it serving you?

I- Invite a new perspective 

This is where the shift and transformation begins. How we see and speak to ourselves matters, are you willing to see it a different way? Are you willing to invite a new perspective to the table? The key here is moving with an intention of openness. Open your heart and mind to a new perspective; believing thatt the way you’re thinking isn’t the only way. 

You know when you wake up on a bright sunny day and you immediately go to open your blinds to let the sun radiate through your apartment? Those blinds are your heart and mind- open them and allow a new perspective to shine in. 

Give yourself the liberty to invite a new perspective and see things from a wider angle. The best thing you can do in this phase of the framework is to be curious and question things.

Ask yourself this- What’s another way to look at this? What else may be going on here? What if my assumptions are not true? What is it costing me to believe this? How would it benefit me to change my outlook on this?

R- Reframe the inner voice and create a more empowering one. 

Once we’re open to it, we can reframe the old narrative and replace it with a more empowering and compassionate one.  Our brain partners with us to either play it small or go big. Let’s bring in genuine, affirming thoughts that are in alignment with our values and heart’s desires.

What’s a different thought or affirmation that would serve you?

M- Move-in alignment with what you discovered. 

Make moves, create habits, be the person who believes your new empowering belief. Own it. Embrace it. Embody it. You may have to rinse and repeat I-R-M and that’s ok. Beliefs that took years to mold won’t shift overnight. 

Take this framework with you and use it because how you speak to and see yourself matters. Have the awareness of what you’re feeling and thinking, so you can have the agency to make a shift. It can feel so defeating to be at the mercy of our emotions and thoughts, and I hope this framework gives you more agency over them. 

I know it’s one thing to have the tools and another to actually work through it, so give yourself grace as you do. If things come up that feel too overwhelming for you to do on your own, work on it with your therapist or coach (hey hey). Some of this may trigger some inner blocks that need some more TLC and professional care and that’s ok. That inner work is the door to your future and highest self. 

If you enjoyed this post and want more, I suggest checking out my Ebook “From Self-Doubt to Fulfilling Success.” Plus, if this post was helpful for you, share it with a friend!

Helping you feel good about yourself and create a life of wholeness, harmony, and abundance is what matters most to me; if you want more help with that on your journey, schedule a call. Let’s do this together.