10 Ways To Stop Getting In Your Own Way

You have ideas. You have dreams. You have plans for your future. Yet time and time again you find yourself getting in your own way. Maybe procrastination creeps in. Excuses start to squeeze through the door. Or your emotions get the best of you and you feel defeated or unmotivated. We all struggle from time to time with getting things done, and you’re not alone in realizing that the common denominator may be you. 

First things first, I want to celebrate you for taking responsibility. It’s not always easy to recognize that we “are the problem” or acknowledge areas where we can improve. It’s easier to put the blame on someone else or external forces, but that doesn’t bring us closer to what we truly want. 

We all have blind spots and the toughest ones to spot are the ones within ourselves. I want you to know that you can choose at any moment to change your perspective and stop getting in your own way. It takes you deciding that enough is enough and being willing to do something about it. I hope this list helps you pinpoint your blind spots and gives you the courage to take ownership of your life. 

1- Acknowledge What Brought You Here

We all have a story. We are a product of our upbringing and circumstances. Our past may inform the choices that we make, but it does not have to define how we show up in the present. First, give yourself grace and acknowledge what may be causing your apprehension, tension, procrastination, fear, anxiety, etc. If you notice a pattern in your thoughts or habits that hinders you from moving forward or getting things done, what is it? What may have caused it? This helps you realize what or who your behaviors may be a consequence of and gives you context as to why you are showing up the way that you are. Once you acknowledge this, depending on the depth of what you find, it may be most helpful to write it out, seek therapy or coaching, or speak it out with a supportive person in your life. 

2- Face Your Fears

One of the main culprits I find for people getting in their own way is fear. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of what people will say. So, what are you really scared of? Fear is a sneaky yet powerful human emotion. It tiptoes into our lives to protect us, and often we’re too scared to even confront it. Get curious about your fears. Break it down, see where it comes from, and reframe it to something that serves you. Break it down- how bad is it really? What’s the worst that can happen? Maybe the worst isn’t even that bad and it’s 100x worst in your head. I remember hearing, the way we visualize things in our minds is often so much worst than reality.  Where it comes from- similar to point 1. Where does this fear come from? What is it protecting you from? It could be something in your past that occurred that you no longer need to be protected from. Reframe it- excitement and fear can feel the same in the body, so what if you were actually extremely excited and not scared? What would that do for you? 

*do you notice I ask tons of questions- getting curious can unlock so much inside of you my friend*

3- Choose Courage 

Courage doesn’t have to be a big gargantuan act; courage also happens in our day-to-day decisions. Every time we choose to act even when we’re scared that’s courage. That could be interacting with a stranger. Hosting your first LIVE. Sending a follow-up email. Putting your business out there for the first time. Be scared and do it anyway. What helps you choose courage? Think about your why and what is driving you to do whatever you set out to do. Let that mission be bigger than your fear. Think about the best-case scenario ( read my blog post on it) not just the worst. 

4- Get Strategic 

Sometimes we rely too much on our own willpower and motivation. Put systems in place and create a plan that will help you get to where you desire. It’s beautiful to dream and think big, but it can feel overwhelming if everything stays in your head. Get your ideas and goals onto paper and break them down into smaller incremental steps. There are also so many resources out there that may outline ways to accomplish what you’re trying to do. Use some of their tips and strategies to streamline your plan; take what works for you and leave what does not. 

5- Find Community 

Community and accountability probably come up in every blog post that I write because it is truly THAT important. Connect with a like-minded community that will help hold you accountable, inspire you, and share resources that will help you on your journey. You don’t have to do this alone and I will continue to reiterate that you were not meant to. This may be people in the same field as you or in a completely different field but you share the same values and ambition. It’s uplifting to connect with others who share the same values as you because you’re more motivated to stay true to your authentic self on the journey.

6- Inspiration vs. Comparison

Originally, this point was to study people. Similar to point 4, study other peoples’ journeys who have achieved the success that you admire. Read their autobiographies, listen to their interviews, if they are alive follow them on social media. Get curious about their story and what made them persevere. Often these people inspire us. So, lean more into inspiration, not comparison. We hear comparison is the thief of joy because it robs us of the opportunity to learn from someone and makes us think poorly of ourselves. Even if it’s not someone you deeply admire, but you find yourself falling into comparison mode- see what can you learn from their success? 

7- Find Joy

In a rut? Do something fun! Get moving. Listen to music. Do the things that bring you joy and peace. Get back to the place where your endorphins are flowing and your tank is full of inspiration, then create from there. I encourage you to find joy and get moving every day. Life is meant to be fun and if you feel drained or creatively empty then it may be time to change what you do or see on a daily basis. Your environment and activities matter. What are you doing to pour into yourself so you can show up for your ideas and goals? 

8- Slow down & Embrace Stillness

Breathe, my friend. How often are you welcoming stillness into your life? If you’re working on something and feel stuck, stop and take 5 deep breaths. This will help to recenter your focus, slow down your heart rate, and rechannel your energy. Daily, I encourage you to meditate or sit still for at least 5 minutes. Focus on your breath and slow down your thoughts. If it happens let your mind wander. One, you’ll be surprised how therapeutic this feels to just be. Two, you may even find clarity on something that you’ve been working on. We think the answer is to just even pushing forward, but often the best solution is to pause and breathe. 

9- Release Perfection

One sure way to get in your own way is to get sucked into perfectionism. What is perfect anyway? You get to define it, and I want you to. We get hindered by this idea of things being perfect, but sometimes we don’t even know what that means. We are aiming for this ideal that doesn't exist, exists in the realm of someone else’s subjective opinions, or lives in its own box that we created in our minds. Whatever it means for you if it’s taking you away from sharing and creating it’s blocking your growth. Give yourself permission to release the need to be perfect and remember your why and your mission. Is it serving your mission to be perfect? Does it serve your values to aim for perfection?

*you know I come with love, growth takes being uncomfortable and this is a safe space*

10- Celebrate Yourself

I’ll say it again celebrate yourself!! Celebrate how far you’ve come, celebrate what you have been able to accomplish, and celebrate your ideas! Sometimes we focus so much on what’s not working that we don’t give ourselves credit for what is! Pull out your client wins folder, think about your own personal growth, remember your amazing accomplishments, and remind yourself of WHO you are! Look at your list of incremental steps to getting to your goals and celebrate crossing off each little step. It’s not just the big goal that deserves praise, the smaller ones along the way do as well. 

Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all have our moments but I believe the difference is how long we stay there. I want to empower you to recognize you have the power of choice and discernment. You can choose to stop getting in your own way. You can discern what’s working for you and serving you and what’s not.

I’m passionate about helping you, creatives, entrepreneurs, change agents, and thought leaders, because our ideas can change the world. They can uplift and improve someone’s life and that deserves to be nurtured, cultivated, and shared. You got this my friend, excited to see what you create.

Struggling with getting in your own way? Schedule a free discovery call here.

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